Happiness

Today I spent the entire afternoon at my brother’s house & the subject of my adventures at shows came up. Although he knows how passionate I am about music and how much I love what I do at Confront, he still asked the obvious question; don’t you get bored of seeing the same band(s) over and over again? Doesn’t it just get boring?

I thought that was the strangest question ever (even though it’s expected). So strange that I actually didn’t know how to answer it. Not in a bad way- I guess people are bound to ask it eventually… but I don’t go around asking people why they eat/sleep/breathe everyday. Is it really that different in peoples’ minds?

His questions got me thinking. More & more my life is drifting into the direction of the music industry. Every day I’m more interested in music news and in what’s going on in the business- more than in any other news out there. The more this happens, the less I feel I’m paying attention to other aspects of my life and the more people are asking me what it IS that attracts me to this lifestyle. I can’t answer the question. It feels like it just happened to me. Like I walked right into music and it just fit. How do you explain that to someone? How do you explain to the people who call you a “groupie” that you don’t feel like that at all, that music is just… who you are? That you just love the atmosphere, the memories & the people so much, that it’s worth all the money and the time?

When girls go out to clubs every weekend and make out with guys left,right and center, and dance, wear very little clothing or drink until they can’t remember their evening… do I go around calling them sluts, alcoholics or delinquents? No. I don’t judge their actions because it’s not my place. I don’t see why when the roles are reversed you can’t return that respect. “Groupie” just isn’t a word that I like to hear. I’ve worked hard to be where I am right now. I’ve met people that you can’t even imagine, musicians and fans alike- and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

I’m going in a million different directions here. What I meant this post to be about was, essentially, happiness. I think it’s unfair that just because certain people don’t live the same lifestyle as me, they give themselves the right to judge what I do. I don’t think I owe anyone explanations about it… but even when people ask nicely… It’s hard to explain the feeling. Just try and think of what makes you totally & completely happy. Multiply it by a million. Then maybe you’ll understand me a bit more.