Goodbye, 2012! {A Final Review}

January 1, 2013 Filed Under: Goals, Quotes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

new2Ever since I can remember, I always had a list of resolutions lying around. I love goals, and New Year’s resolutions are like the beginning of all things goal-related. I love them because they are the chance to start something new every year, and they give everyone the opportunity to feel better about themselves. In terms of goals, 2012 was a BIG one for me. I had a lot of resolutions that included many side-project goals, and overall I did really well.

As I ring in the New Year with family & friends and finish planning what I want to do for 2013, I thought it was time to re-cap the resolutions I created exactly 365 days ago.

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1. Complete my 12 Changes project

Not accomplished. I decided to stop working on this project in April because I already had too much going on, and wanted to focus on those other projects instead. I still love this idea and maybe when I’m done school I’ll put more time into making it happen again!

2. Finish my 23 Before 23 goals by July 10th 2012 (the last day of the challenge, of course!)

Accomplished. I knew when I wrote this goal that there were a lot of items on that list that wouldn’t be done, which was my own fault for feeling a little bit too ambitious with not enough time. But the things that didn’t get done made their way onto various other lists to get done at a better time in my life!

3. Finish, as best I can, my 101 Goals in 1,001 Days, which ends on September 28th 2012

Accomplished. This was my favorite one. I wrote about it here and here. I’m so proud with how this challenge turned out- I accomplished almost everything I had set out to do! Everything that didn’t get done (and I still have an interest in working on) was added to my Life List.

4. Decide what to do next once all my lists of goals are completed. Another 101? Another birthday list?

Not Accomplished? I’m not really sure, to be honest. I haven’t created any other lists besides my new year’s goals for 2013 (which I’ll be talking about tomorrow) and I don’t know if there is anything else that I WANT to do just yet. This was a bit of a wishy-washy resolution I think, it wasn’t really accomplished or not…. It’s still on hold until I figure it out, I guess!

5. Read 60 books

Not Accomplished. Actually, FAIL. I’m so sad that I didn’t have more time to read. I fully and 100% plan on fixing this next year. I only read, like, half of this goal. Something like that. What a disappointment!

6. Make an effort to blog more about books and music that I love, rather than just using them to fill up days that I don’t know what else to write

Accomplished. Thanks to the wonderful Jessica, I got to participate in The Book Chat every week for many months (which I plan on doing again in 2013) and I made a point of writing about the things I love such as music, reading, travel, etc. It’s nice to see my blog have a little bit more direction as more time goes, but still have a distinct personal touch to it. At least, I think so!

7. Travel 

Accomplished! When I wrote this goal, I only had plans to visit Florida for 5 days in February. I had no idea if I would be able to go anywhere at all. I was so lucky this year, I visited Florida, Brazil, Europe, and New York City… Not to mention the various other road trips to random towns I took for concerts. I’ve got the travel bug!

8. Complete my 365 picture challenge

Accomplished! You can read about it here. I completed the project sometime in November and it was the most fun thing ever.

9. Take part in the 2012 Young Adult Reading Challenge (thanks again for the link, Miranda!) 

Not accomplished. I didn’t even read 40 books this year, so obviously this didn’t work out. Too bad, I love this challenge idea. Boo :(

10. Make 2012 all about happiness, adventure, taking risks, and accomplishments

Accomplished. Yes, yes, and yes! 2012 was one of my happiest years; it as one where I took chances on myself, I opened my heart up, I learned that sometimes failure DOES lead to bigger and better things, and when things didn’t go my way I picked myself up and tried something new. I really, really loved 2012. And I loved this goal- I thought about it nearly every single day & it 100% affected SO many choices that I made.

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Overall, I accomplished 6.5 of my 10 resolutions for the year. Not bad, considering two of the others included reading & one of them was a conscious choice to let go of. I’m never too disappointed that I don’t complete every single goal on my list- from experience, that’s pretty unlikely to ever happen. I’m just happy that I kept these 10 things at the back of my mind all the time and constantly worked towards them. For the most part, I accomplished everything I truly set out to do. 2012 was definitely a very successful year all around. :)

How did you do with your 2012 resolutions?

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Endings, beginnings, and 4 months of freedom!

April 25, 2012 Filed Under: Everyday Stories, School... and Whatnot, Things To Remember, What's Goin' On Tagged With: , , , , ,

Well, I did it. I survived my second year of University! 

Granted, I was only a part-time student, but that just meant juggling more work hours with studying hours. I can’t say it’s the most fun I’ve ever had, and as excited as I was to try some new classes they didn’t turn out to be as fun as I had hoped. Nonetheless, if all goes well, in 4 months from now I’ll be starting my official Bachelor’s degree in a business program! 

It hasn’t been easy. Anyone who has followed this blog in the last 2 years has heard me moan and groan often enough about the number of pre-requisite courses I’ve had to take to get into my choice program. Honestly, it’s my own fault. I’m the one who thought to myself throughout high school “who needs math?”… I do, past self. I do. Sigh. 

In any case, I had my very last math exam last night. Truth be told it did not go nearly as well as I had hoped. I wanted to walk in there, ace it, walk out, and be on vacation for 4 months. But in my true worrying nature, I’m quite the nervous wreck about it. If I don’t get the grade I need, I either have to re-take the class for a third time (I’ve never failed it, but to get into business I need a high grade in math and I don’t DO high grades in math. It doesn’t come naturally to me!) or I decide on another path. And I mean, okay, that would suck. But luckily there are a million things I could see myself doing with my future. I just REALLY want this.

Now that I’ve slept on my worry, though, I can honestly say that I am ridiculously proud of myself. When I was 18 I was drifting aimlessly and irresponsibly through life, spending money like it was my job and not thinking about my future. 4 years later I am not only about to begin a degree in a prestigious business school (I like to say it’s prestigious, anyway) but… I KNOW MATH. I barely scraped by in high school, and now I’m able to get DECENT GRADES. Regardless of the two years it took me to get here, I needed to be here.

And now? 

I have 4 whole months off. It was the ending of my least favorite chapter of University. Drifting around, walking in circles, having no particular program or group to associate to. Now I can breathe easy knowing it should all be done, and I get to start fresh in September. I mean, hopefully. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get the grade I need.

I’m excited for this summer. I have fond memories of last year, what with going to Europe for the first time and falling in love with a new culture. Summer is my favorite time of the year- not only because it’s my birthday and the most beautiful weather, but because all the best concerts come into town & it opens up so many possibilities for traveling. And you just KNOW I’ll be traveling this summer, right? But more on that some other time.

So here’s to ending a tough two years in my life. But hard work pays off, and I”m going to enjoy my last summer of absolute freedom. I’ll be starting something so big and so new to me next school year and I am SO excited.

I can’t wait to see what summer brings, I just pray that whoever’s in charge gives me the grades I need to move ahead next year. Seriously, it’s time to get this Bachelor’s degree!

What is something you worked really hard for & were proud of  your results?

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Up & Down

April 23, 2012 Filed Under: Everyday Stories, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

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My life feels like a big roller coaster. Which is a weird metaphor for me to use, considering I have so much trouble getting on an ACTUAL one. (seriously, ask my friends!I am either refusing entirely to try one or screaming my brains out on the baby ones). But it’s true; I have such ups and downs, highs and lows, sometimes I wonder when life is just going to become a smoother ride, slow down, and come to a stop somewhere safe.

I’m always looking up (or down) at the next turn, loop or dip ahead. In March, when I was having the toughest few weeks of my year, I was aching for the last day of the month to start over again in April. It seems like I’m always basing my life on what’s next- where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing, and what fun adventures are waiting for me. I’m always searching for a greater reason to being here, but when will I slow down and just be happy for a little while? I want to do that today.

April has been good to me. In between interviewing some of my favorite overseas bands, to seeing my beautiful nephew hit his first half birthday, to getting a job at my school that opens up a window of exciting opportunities for the year ahead, I have VERY little to complain about.

At this time exactly one month ago, I was praying for a light at the end of the tunnel. I was writing about my anxiety with failure and the way all bad things seem to pile on at once, and how nothing seems to be working out. Today, I just wanted to remind myself that it’s not always going to be as bad as it seems in any given moment.

When you’re having a really bad day, week, month, or year, remember there will always be a silver lining to the cloud above your head. Where there is failure, success is sure to not be far behind (for those who strive for it), and where there are emotionally difficult times, the heart learns to heal and find other things to be filled with.

Today I feel good. I’m on a good path. I am reminded that when things didn’t work out and I was afraid for my future, it was all for a reason. Because really, everything DOES happen for a reason. There are still many parts of my life that I question this about, and every time I feel like I am wrong, the world finds a way to show me that I am a stronger person for those moments.

I’m not saying everything is perfect, awesome, rainbows and unicorns. There are always a million tiny things on my mind; bits and pieces of my life that seem like they SHOULD be better, but just aren’t.  Right now though, I’m feeling like things are going to turn out okay. Even though I’m still stressing about my very last final exam (tomorrow!) I’m still seeing the good things, and I’m proud of everything I’ve managed to do in the last couple months to get to where I am. I took chances on myself, and although it doesn’t ALWAYS pay off, sometimes, it does.

What are you proud of yourself for today? When was the last time you took a step out of your comfort zone, and took a chance on yourself?

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Goals… & an Introduction to my QLC

April 16, 2012 Filed Under: Goals, Things To Remember Tagged With: , , , , ,

I’ve talked a lot about goals around here. In the last few years of blogging, they’ve not only become a big part of my writing, but they have literally become a part of who I am.

I want to share the piece I wrote in early February about goals, growing up, and how they’ve affected the person I have become today. I originally wrote it as my application to become a season 6 Stratejoy blogger, but realize now why I didn’t make it in the final choices.

The reason I decided that today was the day to share with you what I wrote is because I finally came to terms with not being chosen. I was never SO upset about it, but when the choice is solely based on your writing, something you put so much time and energy in, you can’t help but wonder if you’re simply failing at something you love. This weekend was a great morale booster for me though in terms of my successes and my failures, and it has pushed me towards wanting to share my application.

It may not have been right for Stratejoy, but I’d like to think it’s the kind of thing I would have written as a post for my blog at some point, so now I’d like to share it here to be able to look back on one day.

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When I turned twenty, I realized I was struggling at living life, but I didn’t want to anymore. I was moving into a new age category, leaving college to attend University, beginning to travel; basically experiencing parts of my life I had previously left unexplored. Only two years later, I’m still struggling, but I’m working really hard to do the things that make me happy. My name is Melissa, I’m twenty two years old, and every single day life teaches me something entirely new.

One of my biggest ‘life-teaching’ moments happened just a few months after I turned twenty. Shortly after my birthday I stumbled across the website www.dayzeroproject.com, and on a whim I joined. The website allows you to create a list of 101 goals to complete in 1,001 days and keep track of them. I thought “that sounds like a fun project, why not give it a shot?” which is exactly what I did. I made a list of 101 goals I wanted to try, posted them on my blog, and began to accomplish them. I had no idea at the time that this list would take me through some of my most important years.

The picture I attached for this application was taken at Halloween in 2010, just after I turned twenty-one. At this point I was one year into my 101 Project and although I wouldn’t realize it for another year, I had begun to take BIG chances on myself. Around Month Six, I took my curly dark brown hair to the hairdresser’s, cut it short, and dyed the bottom layer a bright color. Fast forward to the time this photo was taken and one of my favorite goals was being captured on camera for me to look back on; I dyed part of my hair a different color. Actually, the goal was to “dye part of my hair purple”- a thing I wanted to try from the age of thirteen and never had the guts to do- but by the time I had put my Snow White costume on I was well into my fourth different color… Purple was just the beginning.

I’ve lived a big part of my life in the shadows. I grew up loving books and hating sports, occasionally being teased at school & immediately taking it to heart, and constantly undervaluing myself. In high school I was the introverted girl who did well but didn’t really stand out. In college I got by but didn’t do anything noticeable. When I turned twenty, I didn’t want to be the girl that no one remembered anymore. I realized I hadn’t even begun to live yet and there was SO MUCH I wanted to do. Even though the idea of change terrified me, I was becoming accustomed to the idea of leaving my comfort zone. Born from these feelings were my 101 Goals and my determination to stand out with bright colored hair.

It’s an older photo of me, considering we live in an era where digital pictures are taken on a daily basis, but I think it still expresses the most authentic version of myself for one major reason: at twenty-one, I was beginning to understand that I didn’t understand much at all, except that there were parts of my life I wanted to work on. I was doing just that, and pretty darn happy about it too!

As I sit here and write about some of my struggles and accomplishments, I realize even more how different I am, and continue to become with every new goal I cross off my list. My hair is back to brown, but I wear my bright colors in different ways now. I can openly admit that I am flawed, but the goals that I set for myself every single day allow me to take little steps in the direction of the young adult I hope to be in a few more years. I’m living each experience for myself; searching for my happiness and wondering what life is going to throw at me next.

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If you don’t succeed, try & try again.

March 28, 2012 Filed Under: Confessions, Inspiration, Random Ramblings Tagged With: , , , , ,

I think one of the reasons I’m constantly doubting myself is because I feel like I’m always trying too hard. Some people have the ability to be amazing at anything they set their mind to, and yet when I pour my heart & soul into something I don’t often get the results I’d hoped for.

And so, I’m constantly doubting myself. 

I’ve applied for so many internship positions over the last couple years; so many writing gigs, promotions internships, and other various random little things that I’ve found. I’ve so rarely gotten the jobs I set my sights on, it often makes me wonder if my talent is all in my head. How do you convey to someone that you KNOW you’re right for the job, even though you don’t have all the experience of someone who’s 10 years older?

I’m a very passionate person. 

Sometimes, I wonder if this is my biggest downfall. When I decide that there is something I want to do, I put so MUCH into trying to achieve it. So why do I so rarely succeed?

These are the kinds of things I worry about for the future. When I’m done school, will anyone be willing to take a chance on me? The jobs that I have in mind aren’t the most ridiculous, high-end, or high-paying jobs out there. But they still require skill and ability. I know I can do it, but what if no one else believes in me? What if they believe in someone else more?

I often feel like everything I’m doing is for nothing. 

I’m putting all this time, money, effort and attention into school and into jobs that don’t pay, but what if that just isn’t enough? Is there something else I need to be doing? The future is so uncertain, and that’s scary. I want to have opportunities. I want to make enough money to be financially stable; to move out, travel, be independent from family & to be able to start my OWN family.

One day, I hope I find at least SOME thing that makes my uncertainties less uncertain. I hope someone takes a chance on me. Even if it’s in a place that’s not *exactly* what I want- if I can even start getting closer towards one of my goals, I’ll feel like I’ve got a fighting chance in the world.

I’m not done trying yet, though. 

I’ve learned that I love getting out of my comfort zone. I try and try again, because I still feel like somewhere down the line, it will mean success. Someone WILL notice that I’m right for what I want to do. The things I’m working on today that I don’t necessarily love? They’ll pay off later on and I’ll be able to wake up every single morning happy.

I still have hope, and because of it, I’ll keep trying to be who I want to be. 

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